I don't even know where to begin to write this post...
(first off, I am writing this fast due to so much to do, so don't judge the grammatical errors)
It has been an emotional roller coaster this past month. I wont go into too much personal detail, but I have been finding getting or staying pregnant harder than I thought. I don't want to address this too much because I know this is a sensitive subject where MANY have tried for a LOT longer than me and still cant. I am so blessed and lucky to at least have one and I know that. I know I will have more kids, and its just a matter of the Lords time, not mine. So by no means am I throwing a pity party. I am simply sharing the events of my life this past while.
Now onto the next event:
Lately, I had this overwhelming feeling I needed to simply my life. NO more parties, NO more blogging etc for a while and just focus on my family. Take that time figuring out why I am not getting pregnant and just keep that as my focus. I tend to be a "stresser, " I stress over things not important, and I am a person who HAS to be busy. I am always doing something, and I tend to overfill my time with things that eventually stress me out and really don't matter. Like, really Bridget do I have to do this craft, will my readers actually care? Probably not!
I need to learn to not stress the small stuff and hopefully that could help in some way to get/stay pregnant. Who knows... just a thought and its worth a try. So I decided it was time to simplify and not be a working mom for a while. There is NOTHING more important to me than being a mom, and at that time I didn't need to work, I chose to. Well, that whole focus on family thing lasted only 2 days when my husband got a phone call about a job opportunity that would take my family to California for the rest of our lives.... My husband would be completely switching careers into something he currently wasn't doing nor ever thought he would. This move will also keep us in California for the rest of our lives. Every time my husband came up with a new business idea I kept saying I just wish I knew what we were going to do and just stay put. I got what I wanted, but now I am not sure if its what I want... typical Bridget!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Now I am going to get personal here by sharing
MY beliefs. This past month has been a lot of praying. Praying for a child and now praying for what to do with my family. My husband also had a job interview for a job here in Utah another potential one in AZ and in So. Cal. These are all great blessings. People cant find jobs and here my husband has options. However, the one that is taking us to California came first and was in need of someone asap, so we were having to be quick with our decisions. This is something my family didn't take lightly, and with a LOT of prayer, fasting, crying, and more prayer. We both knew what we needed to do. This by far is the biggest decision I have ever made in my life, and I WAS terrified we would make the wrong one. Thankfully, my husband had an amazing spiritual experience where he knew California is where we are suppose to go and from then on out we just have to put our trust in the Lord and know that this is where he wants us, and we need to move forward. This doesn't mean I haven't CRIED and cried HARD to know I am leaving the place I grew up and love so much. I am a Utah girl through and through. They are going to have to pry my fingers of the "welcome to Utah" sign to get me out of this state. My family is super tight and I know what I will be missing by moving. I feel like I am closing a big chapter of my life that I am not done reading.
I am heart broken to leave all my friendships I have made over the years, my amazing neighbors, and my connections I have worked so hard to get for this blog. However, when times get hard, I can fall back on the feelings and answer my husband received that he KNOW this is where we are suppose to go.
The job we are taking will be a big pay cut at first, but in the long run will be a great blessing for our family. It is a lot of sacrifice up front with hopeful potential down the road. It is one of those situations of take 1 step back for 2 steps forward. This was about 4 weeks ago that we got wind of this opportunity and after going over our finances etc and knowing the cost of living in California, I knew I HAD to go back to work OR make something work. This is when and why I launched
Bridgets Boutique. I am excited for this boutique and the response thus far has been more than I could ask for. I have great plans for the future for it, but until I get settled in I am going to keep it simple so I can, like I said before, focus on my family.
SO... I went from taking a break to being busier than ever... or so I thought, but life just got even crazier.
Yesterday Chase flew out to California for the final interview and right then and there they said "Congrats, you are now a member of Merrill Lynch and you start Sept 19th....... "
SAY WHAT? THE 19TH...
Let the packing up my whole house, mail out all my packages from
Very Jane, sell my car, get all the Dr visits in before we lose insurance, tie up loose ends, sell our town home, and leave the 16th to drive to Cali where we will live with my in laws until we can find a place. Okay so NOW I am busy. Hopefully we will be able to find a place soon and I can get settled in and get back to normal.. or at least throw my son a decent bday party for his birthday the end of this month :).
CALIFORNIA HERE WE COME! I have cried enough over the decision and I am going to try my best to enjoy my last 2 weeks in Utah as much as I can and just try to have a positive attitude and take this as an adventure. I am done thinking of all the reasons why I don't want to go: traffic, cost of living, no cousins for Jaxon, no Blaser family, the atmosphere is not what I am use to in Utah where there is a church on every corner lol. I need to switch my attitude and think of all the positive because there is a lot. I have nothing against California, I just never thought of raising my kids and settling there for life. It is just a hard idea to wrap my head around in just 2 weeks. I have told myself my whole life I am raising my kids here in Utah. It is just all the unknown. All I know is Utah and more of a sheltered lifestyle, so it will be an experience for sure, but an experience I will grow to love and be so grateful for the experience.
LET THE ADVENTURE BEGIN... literally right now... I got to stop blogging and start a packing ;)